Cargo Cult
Religious movements that exhibit belief in the imminence of a new age of blessing, to be initiated by the arrival of a special “cargo” of goods from supernatural sources - based on the observation by local residents of the delivery of supplies to colonial officials.
Tribal divinities, culture heroes, or ancestors may be expected to return with the cargo, or the goods may be expected to come through foreigners, who are sometimes accused of having intercepted material goods intended for the native peoples.
If the cargo is expected by ship or plane, symbolic wharves or landing strips and warehouses are sometimes built in preparation.
Most MAGA Evangelicals have never read the Bible and have no idea what Jesus actually preached, according to the Bible.
MAGA yokels don’t read. They let televangelists tell them what Jesus supposedly said.
But those televangelists have no fucking clue either, because they also never read the Bible, so they just make shit up and call it Christianity.
Televangelists are con artists who perform a stage show that resembles a Christian sermon, in the same way children imitate grown-ups when they play “work” and wear their dad’s tie and say things that sound grown-up to a child’s ear: “More coffee please Mrs. Secretary while I read important business papers and type on a computer.”
Children imitate what they see and hear without understanding the purpose behind it.
Many of these televangelist con artists literally just babble gibberish, and pretend they’re “speaking in tongues” and act as if it’s a message directly from God.
God speaks directly through them, and he has a super important message for you: “Habbblll bli bli bli yakka wakko boo boo moo! Trallalalalala!”
Pure poetry. So deep. God is wise.
I’m kidding. It’s a con, but their followers are too dumb to figure it out.
The goal of these televangelists is not to save souls, but to scam dumb people out of their money.
Televangelists are con artists who found a legal loophole to legally scam people.
It’s absurd. The nonsense these people say on stage is so batshit crazy, it’s insane that there are actually people out there who are dumb enough to believe this shit.
If you asked someone from Europe or Australia, what religion that is in the video on top of this page, they probably would not guess Christianity, because this is not what Christianity looks like in the rest of the world.
MAGA Evangelicals aren’t Christians. They’re a cargo cult that imitates Christianity. They’re just babbling gibberish, because that’s all they hear when a real priest preaches a sermon in an actual church.
It’s a stage performance. It’s hillbilly theater.
When the rest of the world sees American televangelists, they think it’s bananas. It has nothing to do with Christianity, other than them occasionally mentioning the name Jesus or pretending to speak for God while telling people to send them more money.
If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend the HBO series The Righteous Gemstones. It’s about a family of career criminals who run a mega church and constantly find new ways to scam their dumb followers out of more money.
They might as well be called the Trump family.
The Trumps use all the same tricks that televangelists use to con dumb people.
Everything about Trump is a lie. Everything is fake.
He’s a con man, and his entire life is a performance.
That’s why he wears stage makeup all day every day.
Would a good Christian be in favor of slavery?
Of course not. Love thy neighbor, remember? It’s not “enslave thy neighbor.”
But the Southern Baptists were pro-slavery during the Civil War.
Today they’re called MAGA Evangelicals, or Christian nationalists, and they’re still racist as fuck.
A lot of these MAGA racists are so dumb, they don’t even know they’re racists because they think all the racist shit they believe is true:
“It’s not racist to say that all Mexicans are rapists and murderers, and all Venezuelans are drug dealers, and Haitians eat cats and dogs, and immigrants are human garbage, because it’s true.”
That’s why they have no idea what you’re talking about when you tell them Trump is a racist piece of shit.
And they think Jesus was a damn liberal. They hate everything Jesus stood for.
Here’s the craziest part: Most MAGA Evangelicals don’t even know that they hate everything about Jesus, because they’ve never actually read the Bible.
None of these dumb motherfuckers have actually read the book they claim to believe in.
Because they’re not actually Christians. They just call themselves Christians, in the same way North Korea calls itself a Democratic Republic.
The backwoods yokels of the Appalachians were cut off from civilization for a long time. And in a way they’re like those primitive jungle tribes, who don’t understand how the world works, and think that a plane is a god.
MAGA yokels think Trump is Jesus for the same reason those jungle tribes think a plane is God.
Their minds are not equipped to understand how the modern world works.
So it’s super easy to lie to them, because they’re too dumb to know when they’re being lied to.
They don’t even understand how Christianity works. They don’t know that the whole point of Christianity is to love thy neighbor, not “deport thy neighbor.”
