My ex-husband and I decided early on that we did not want to have children. I certainly wasn’t mature enough and having grown up in a family situation where my father was definitely King of the castle, I decided that I didn’t want any part of it. And I didn’t want to pass on those genes. We were called selfish, immature, kids would help our marriage stay together, and all other kinds of BS. Even when we were going through counseling before our divorce, my ex’s friends were saying well if you had a kid it would be better. No it would not have been better. I grew up in a dysfunctional household my parents spot like cats and dogs, but they held together because they were children of the depression era. I did not want to live like that. So today in this time, and what is happening, I am grateful that I don’t have children or grandchildren. I hate the thought of what’s being left to them. Thanks to this assine regime!
I love my 16 yo kid & I’m SO happy to have him…but if I were currently family planning, I’m not at all sure I’d have kids. Times are different. This country is different. The world is different.
Being a good parent is HARD. Loving, thoughtful, supportive, encouraging, real-world parenting requires being good at so many things. Everyone isn’t good at all of those things, and they don’t have to be. And it’s not selfish at all to recognize it’s not your thing, for whatever reason(s). The world doesn’t need more babies born to people who don’t want to be parents. And kids are unbelievably expensive!! Not everyone can even afford to have kids. You do you, people. 🩷
So it is selfish to not have kids if you want to focus on yourself. But that's OK selfishness. What's not OK selfishness is to have kids you don't want because you want other people to like you.
Bang on - people that have kids for all the wrong reasons- family pressure, because they think that it will make them happy or their friends having them etc are absolutely the wrong reason and they could resent their kids, parents, partners or friends and possibly could affect their ability to be a good parent. It’s a incredibly difficult job even when it’s the thing you want most in the world. 😌
It’s most definitely not selfish. Why bring humans into this situation when you don’t have to. America has gone backwards. It no longer puts families or children as priority. A capitalist nation neglects children for sake the of profit. Good luck with whatever you decide.
My parents had 6 kids, 4 boys within the first 4 years of marriage. They never should have had kids. I witnessed their misery throughout my childhood and decided not to repeat their mistake. I never saw the upside of parenting. I couldn't begin to count the number of coworkers who said how lucky I was for staying child-free. Luck had nothing to do with it.
The world suffers from overpopulation. The U.S. is the 3rd most populous nation on the planet and uses more resources than any other nation. I am not married, have never wanted to marry, or have children. When I was a kid, I drew homes, a budding architect, who went on to teach high school for forty-one years, that had room for hundreds of dogs. I always wanted dogs. Having lived in small homes and with small backyards, and realizing the cost of vet bills, the childhood fantasy was never realized. Over the years, I have purchased puppies and rescued numerous dogs, including my 23-year-old chihuahua. I have also rescued three kittens, one of which was born beneath one of my former classrooms. I have loved my students, my dogs, and my cats. I don't believe I was selfish.
No, it’s not selfish if you choose not to have kids. Selfish is having a kid to serve your own purposes. Like to keep a partner, or get financial benefits. It’s better to not have kids than to have one if it isn’t what you really want, & you’re aware of the sacrifices.
i’m neurodivergent and children trigger all my issues. i can’t stand their voices, their stench or their general filth. that’s genuinely how i feel. i avoid all children at all costs. i’ve spent my childfree life dealing with privileged parents and their awful brats.
i don’t have kids because i don’t like them or want them in my house. yet i have spent my life being chastised for knowing myself and making a choice. i’ve been called selfish, a sociopath, you name it.
the response we saw from so many parents during covid lockdowns —basically complaining about having to spend time with their kids- proves my theory. most people regret having kids if they’re honest (my mom agreed with this) and they want everyone around them to be saddled with responsibility and headaches because they are.
sorry that i figured out parenting is a scam run by corporations looking for cheap labor. what i do know is that i lack the patience to be around kids and would inevitably have been arrested for abuse. the fact is that i know that and say “no thanks” while people are forced to have kids they don’t want and can’t afford. this stress leads to more abuse. pressuring people to breed leads to child abuse.
My ex-husband and I decided early on that we did not want to have children. I certainly wasn’t mature enough and having grown up in a family situation where my father was definitely King of the castle, I decided that I didn’t want any part of it. And I didn’t want to pass on those genes. We were called selfish, immature, kids would help our marriage stay together, and all other kinds of BS. Even when we were going through counseling before our divorce, my ex’s friends were saying well if you had a kid it would be better. No it would not have been better. I grew up in a dysfunctional household my parents spot like cats and dogs, but they held together because they were children of the depression era. I did not want to live like that. So today in this time, and what is happening, I am grateful that I don’t have children or grandchildren. I hate the thought of what’s being left to them. Thanks to this assine regime!
I was married for 48 years, we did not want, never had children. We had an awesome full life together
I love my 16 yo kid & I’m SO happy to have him…but if I were currently family planning, I’m not at all sure I’d have kids. Times are different. This country is different. The world is different.
Being a good parent is HARD. Loving, thoughtful, supportive, encouraging, real-world parenting requires being good at so many things. Everyone isn’t good at all of those things, and they don’t have to be. And it’s not selfish at all to recognize it’s not your thing, for whatever reason(s). The world doesn’t need more babies born to people who don’t want to be parents. And kids are unbelievably expensive!! Not everyone can even afford to have kids. You do you, people. 🩷
So it is selfish to not have kids if you want to focus on yourself. But that's OK selfishness. What's not OK selfishness is to have kids you don't want because you want other people to like you.
of course it’s not selfish to decide not to have kids FOR ANY REASON. this is absurd.
Bang on - people that have kids for all the wrong reasons- family pressure, because they think that it will make them happy or their friends having them etc are absolutely the wrong reason and they could resent their kids, parents, partners or friends and possibly could affect their ability to be a good parent. It’s a incredibly difficult job even when it’s the thing you want most in the world. 😌
It’s most definitely not selfish. Why bring humans into this situation when you don’t have to. America has gone backwards. It no longer puts families or children as priority. A capitalist nation neglects children for sake the of profit. Good luck with whatever you decide.
No. I was never able to bare children and I do not consider myself a selfish person.
Agreed-100%
I Agree 💯👍‼️
No it’s not selfish !!!!
My parents had 6 kids, 4 boys within the first 4 years of marriage. They never should have had kids. I witnessed their misery throughout my childhood and decided not to repeat their mistake. I never saw the upside of parenting. I couldn't begin to count the number of coworkers who said how lucky I was for staying child-free. Luck had nothing to do with it.
same. so much same.
The world suffers from overpopulation. The U.S. is the 3rd most populous nation on the planet and uses more resources than any other nation. I am not married, have never wanted to marry, or have children. When I was a kid, I drew homes, a budding architect, who went on to teach high school for forty-one years, that had room for hundreds of dogs. I always wanted dogs. Having lived in small homes and with small backyards, and realizing the cost of vet bills, the childhood fantasy was never realized. Over the years, I have purchased puppies and rescued numerous dogs, including my 23-year-old chihuahua. I have also rescued three kittens, one of which was born beneath one of my former classrooms. I have loved my students, my dogs, and my cats. I don't believe I was selfish.
hard agree.
I would NOT have kids in today’s climate. That said, I have 2 adult sons
No, it’s not selfish if you choose not to have kids. Selfish is having a kid to serve your own purposes. Like to keep a partner, or get financial benefits. It’s better to not have kids than to have one if it isn’t what you really want, & you’re aware of the sacrifices.
I have no kids (that I know of)…
I have never wanted kids!
I never wanted the responsibility of raising children!!
I never thought this country/world…
was good enough to bring a new life into!!!
i’m neurodivergent and children trigger all my issues. i can’t stand their voices, their stench or their general filth. that’s genuinely how i feel. i avoid all children at all costs. i’ve spent my childfree life dealing with privileged parents and their awful brats.
i don’t have kids because i don’t like them or want them in my house. yet i have spent my life being chastised for knowing myself and making a choice. i’ve been called selfish, a sociopath, you name it.
the response we saw from so many parents during covid lockdowns —basically complaining about having to spend time with their kids- proves my theory. most people regret having kids if they’re honest (my mom agreed with this) and they want everyone around them to be saddled with responsibility and headaches because they are.
sorry that i figured out parenting is a scam run by corporations looking for cheap labor. what i do know is that i lack the patience to be around kids and would inevitably have been arrested for abuse. the fact is that i know that and say “no thanks” while people are forced to have kids they don’t want and can’t afford. this stress leads to more abuse. pressuring people to breed leads to child abuse.
think about it.
Not at all. One must really want children to have them.