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L.D.Michaels's avatar

It's hard to make a moron look normal. Try again!

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

Donald Trump has major Mike Love Syndrome. The hairline of the peevish lead singer of The Brian-Less Group d/b/a The Beach Boys began to recede alarmingly by 1962, when he was twenty-one. The eighty-four-year-old front man, like Trump—five years his junior—has never come to terms with his scalp desert. Mike chooses ball caps with the logo of schools he didn’t attend or the worst song on which he’s collaborated, “Kokomo” (1988), to cover his pate, with a T-shirt, Hawaiian print, caftan, Tom Jones jumpsuit, Maharishi robes, or tuxedo. Gold lame turbans, tweed flat caps, Bing Crosby buh-buh-buh-boos, fedoras, you name it, he’s worn it. When fifteen-year-old Ivanka gave her father a prolonged lap dance as Mike Love entertained at Mar-a-Lago, she was expressing the excitement of all teens for the forty-four-year-old five- or six-times married, bald fathers of eight or nine. Accounts vary.

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